I'm Kinda Like These Guys

Flipping through stations this past Sunday I came across a Nascar race. I don't watch this sport, but I understand you make a left hand turn really fast, a number of times, with the goal of being the fastest. To stay in the race you need to refuel and get your tires changed, which is what is called a pit stop. The pit crew work at lightening speeds. They do their said jobs quicker than quick, like 13 seconds or something ridiculous, and the driver is on his way. I can totally relate.

At 4am when I hear Preston rumbling around in his bed, and sloppily attempting to suck any digit on his hand that may accidentally find it's way into his mouth, my adrenaline kicks in. This is my cue that he's on his way to waking up and will be ready to eat...it's a matter of seconds before he breaks out a squeal that can make your stomach turn. I've got less than 5 minutes. And I'm off!

Step 1: Go downstairs and turn on hot water.
Step 2: Get bottle out of fridge and add Mylicon drop.
Step 3: Fill up cup with hot water and dunk bottle into it.
Step 4: Go to bathroom. Drink a glass of milk.
Step 5: Dump water out of cup and add more hot water.
Step 6: Take cup with bottle upstairs.
Step 7: Get diaper and a wipe out of the changing table.
Step 8: Take bottle out of cup, test temp, then squeeze air out of liner.
Step 9: Get Preston out of his crib and onto the changing table.
Step 10: Unsnap 100 buttons to finally reveal his diaper, then change it.
Step 11: Snap the 100 buttons (The kid is usually on the verge of a meltdown at this point.)
Step 12: Pick up Preston and Boppy and settle into the rocker.
Step 13: Pick up bottle and insert into baby's mouth.
Step 14: Sigh. Success. Only 3 squeals. I don't think he's too far gone to not fall back asleep. I've won again!

You see, I'm the pit crew and Preston is the car. Diaper change...tire change. Refuel...refuel. And that's how I'm like those pit crew guys. Shake and bake baby, shake and bake.


excruciatingly said...

I've said it before, I'll say it again. You could make money off this blog, G.

Anonymous said...

I second that........
new career?

Love you

ALLI said...

this is exactly how i feel right now! although i think you had a much better sense of humor about it all back then than i do now.