12.26.2008

Where in the World is Seattle, Wa?

Upon opening Christmas gifts at an undisclosed location* (near West Virginia, on the Ohio river, where the townspeople rarely leave their zip code), I happened upon a cute three-piece lounge suit for baby Preston.




The pants were dark green. The shirt was tan with a helicopter decal. The vest, dark green to match the pants, sported an embroidered U.S.A.

"This is so he [Preston] knows where he came from!" exclaimed a family member.*

"Ummm, Seattle is in the U.S.A." I replied.

Silence.


*Names and locations have been omitted to protect the feelings of those involved in this rather embarrassing, yet wildly amusing incident.

12.24.2008

Holiday Travel Tips from Ma Kat

After receiving nearly 16 inches of snow (which I hear is practically unheard of in the Seattle area), Jeremy, Preston and I finally flew out of SeaTac – a mere 27 hours later than originally scheduled.

Nearly five hours pass before we land in Hotlanta, with a less-than-5-minute layover. No shit folks, we had to RUN to our connection. No time to visit the family bathroom, get a drink, or say bah humbug to the asshole in front of me who stopped abruptly in pedestrian traffic.

As our plane taxied into CHM I couldn't have been more relieved, or starved for that matter. While woofing down a 10-pack of nuggets, and as my Mom misses our exit, I think about little P'Dub sleeping in his scum-ridden Delta carseat rental (did I fail to mention our luggage was lost) and how happy and accommodating he was the entire trip.

Preston is by far, the best travel baby I've ever had. (Yes, he's the only baby I've ever had. Details. Why are you readers so picky?) After all, by the end of this holiday trip, P'Dub will have flown 14 times...and he's not even a year old.

You see, flying with an infant is tricky. You must avoid the crying. There is only so much crying the flight attendants and the other passengers are willing to take before an emergency landing is imminent. You must be prepared.

Tip #1: Load your kid up on milk/formula/cheerios. Whatever the kid wants to eat, give it to him. If he pukes, he isn't crying, right?

Tip #2: Bring a variety of illuminating and musical toys. Be sure to bring the really obnoxious ones. Especially during a night flight. Your fellow seat-mate will thank you. Hey, it's either Elmo singing or my baby crying. You decide.

Tip #3: If your baby wants to stand up, sit down, and twist consecutively – lets say for 45 minutes straight - you've got to let him. We called it the baby death roll. It's similar to what the crocs do, but I don't think Preston was trying to kill us.

Tip #4: Let your baby kick the seat back, peek at the people sitting behind you, and pound the window.

Tip #5: If your baby discovers your husband has hair on his belly and wants to rub it, pull it, play peek-a-boo with it...let him. The only people who will think it's weird is EVERYONE else on the plane. Screw them. The baby isn't crying, right?

Tip #6: Allow your baby to rip up the SkyMall magazine. Heck yes it's dirty. Just as dirty as the window he's been pounding on. But he's not crying, is he?

Tip #7: Let your baby play the touch screen in-air trivia game located on the back of the head rest in front of you. No, your baby won't be as smart as the guy sitting in 32A who has affectionately named himself 'POOP', but he'll be a contender.

Tip #8: If you can avoid flying during the holidays, do so. I suggest having Christmas in early December or January. Skip the chaos. Save yourself.

12.22.2008

I'm Back...But not in Full Effect

Yes, I'm back...in Seattle, that is. And online as well.

We've been visiting family in Ohio since mid-December and have finally returned to our Pacific Northwest home. It's been quite a journey and I have a few key stories and pictures that I'm anxiously awaiting to share.

However, I must first unpack and do laundry- since our luggage finally arrived yesterday...a day later than our arrival. But that's neither here nor there.

So I'm technically back, but not in full effect. Be expecting numerous posts in the next few days!

Happy 2009!

(Authors note: I'm back-dating this, although it originally posted Jan. 5, 2009. In the essence of portraying real-time entries, the posts following, dated up until Jan. 4 will also be back-dated.)

12.21.2008

Santa Done Good

Before traveling to Ohio (which should have been today, but due to the Seattle blizzard is now tomorrow), Jeremy and I decided to host our first Christmas as a family of three.

Preston was speechless when he woke from his afternoon nap and found Santa had came! He'd look at me, then the presents. He'd look at Jeremy, then the presents. All he mustered up was a little grunt.

At first leery of our sad excuse for a tree and presents, Preston's curiosity soon got the best of him. Touch. Pick up. Smile. Throw down. Shake. Lick. Giggle. Toss.

What puzzled Preston the most is that Jeremy and I encouraged him to rip the paper. After all, if there is one thing my kid likes to do, it's rip and eat paper. As human nature would have it, once you are allowed to do something, it often takes the fun out of it. (Similar to Jeremy at the topless beaches in Mexico...What? I can look at 'them'? Hmmm. That's just boring.)

Slowly, yet steadily, Preston opened the majority of his gifts. He scored new bibs...complete with crumb-catcher pockets, a book, dump truck, cell phone, remote, and a couple other goodies. But I think you'll be able to tell from the video which gift was his favorite!


video

12.16.2008

Tub Toy Sends Father on Comical Rampage

Last evening, while cruising the Toys'R'Us website for suitable in-air-for-five-hours-this-will-help-keep-the-little-one-occupied gadgets, Daddy ran across Tub Time Curious George.

Daddy: What the hell is this? A bath toy with his finger up like that? Creepy.

Daddy: Seriously, what's he so damn curious about? That's what I want to know.

Daddy: This toy is sick. Just look at his expression. Creepy.

We go on to read the description, which notes "But there is a cool surprise in store-"

Daddy: I bet there is a surprise in store. Sickening.

It's no wonder the toy has a one-star rating.

12.15.2008

Holla for the Million Dolla' Idea

Just wondering out loud here...are sock suspenders, a.k.a. sock garters made in infant sizes? If they are, please share the website. If they aren't, I might become rich off the idea.

Preston either pulls his socks off or they fall off constantly. It's highly irritating and I'd willingly pay $5-$10 for a cute, yet trendy, pair of these things for him.

I imagine it would be fairly easy to market. New parents would especially go for it. Hell, new parents buy wipes warmers and baby washcloths. But even a seasoned mother might be delighted to find both socks on her child's feet after returning home from the grocery store.

So, let me know folks. Or, steal my idea. Whatever.

12.05.2008

I'm a Proud Sponsor of Photo Cards

It's a no-brainer that once a couple starts a family (which includes pets), Holiday cards become Holiday photo cards. True to the trend, we are following suit. After all, my life revolves around this little man named Preston. And rightly so, you should be as interested in what he looks like during his first holiday season as I.

So until otherwise noted, those of you receiving Christmas cards from our family can indefinitely expect a photo card. At which time you will ooooh and awwwover Preston. You'll comment on his dimple and how adorable it is that his hair flips out over his left ear. Then you'll go to set it on your tabletop with the other cards, only to be frustratingly irritated that it doesn't stand up on its own. It doesn't 'fit' in with the other cards because it's awkwardly designed and impractical.

When the Holidays are over, you'll find yourself not being able to throw the photo card away. Because it's a card with a photo on it. And there is something morally wrong about throwing pictures away.

When you are opening your Holiday decor boxes in 2023, you can expect to find a stack of 15 photo cards from our family. Happy Holidays folks!

12.04.2008

SPOILER: First Christmas Baby Pics

I debated on not posting Preston's first Christmas pictures until after the photo cards had been sent out. But I cannot wait. All I want to do is SHARE my son with everyone. I must push his pictures on all of you.

And please don't ask me what a ladder has to do with Christmas. I have no idea.