5.31.2008

Holy Heat Rash

For those of you who know me personally, you are probably aware that I'm a freak about making sure Preston isn't cold. Perhaps it's because he was a winter baby? But I've been known to cover him unnecessarily and/or layer his clothing 'just to be sure'. And until yesterday, my actions haven't effected him negatively.

Last evening as I was giving P'Dub a bath, I came upon a large patch of red raised bumps on his lower back. They were all different sizes, and the big ones had white centers (I later found out these are blisters.)

Cause: I ran errands for a couple hours and Preston was forced to sit in his sweat-box of a car seat. The outside temperature was in the upper 70's. And did I mention I had TWO onesies on him: the basic, thin white onesie and then a heavier, shirt-like one.

Effect: A case of the ol' heat rash a.k.a prickly heat a.k.a summer rash

Top it all off, I coated his back with Aquaphor, which has proven to be the miracle of all miracle creams. Later, after Preston was fast asleep, I researched how to soothe a heat rash. And in big bold letters I read DO NOT PUT OINTMENTS OR CREAMS ON THE RASH. THEY ONLY COVER THE PORE OPENINGS AND SEAL IN THE HEAT.

Okay, so I'm no longer in the running for Mom of the Year.

5.28.2008

If Parenting Were a Job Description

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma, Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this!You pay the children! Offering them frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE...
THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!

5.27.2008

If He Only Had a Dummy

Preston could be a ventriloquist. He's got mad voice-throwing skills.
(Everything after the choking scene is just fluff...I just left it in for "awww" purposes.)

video

5.21.2008

Out of the Mouth of Husbands

Jeremy to Preston... "You sure are a fantastic little organism."

5.15.2008

Dumb then Dumber

When I was pregnant, I did something really dumb. Sick of my backne, I brought Jeremy a sandpaper block and asked him to take it to my back. Being the sweet husband that he is, he obliged. Secretly he was probably hoping to hurt be due to all the hormonal mood swings. Anyhow, after he scraped me up, I started to panic because my back felt like it was going to have millions of scars all over it. So I asked Jeremy to lube me up with lotion. I spent the next half hour, in front of the fan, holding back the tears from the severity of the stinging. That's what is called pregnancy brain.

Now that I have a baby, I'm dumber. I've done a variety of mindless things, like put away refrigerated items in the microwave and put clothes on inside out. But a couple days ago I earned the Idiot of the Year award – I backed right out the garage and into my husband's Jeep. Now we're facing two insurance claims, two deductibles and I'm losing my 'good driver' status. This is what is called baby brain. My husband calls it carelessness, lack of using my mirrors, and a couple other choice phrases.

5.12.2008

My 1st Mother's Day

I made it to my first Mother's Day! Yes, there was doubt...mainly in the first four weeks after Preston's birth. But I'm here and I love being a mother. My little chunky is the apple of my eye. (Click the image to enlarge)

And NOTHING in the world is as heart-tugging as seeing Preston's smile in the morning. I know, I know...I'm about to vomit myself. But I'll challenge anyone to the task. Come on over, spend the night, wake up, and see the little dude in the morning smiling from ear to ear. I guarantee an "AWWWWWW" will come out of your mouth and you'll either want to hug him to death or steal him - or both! Any takers?

Moving on...in honor of Mother's Day I thought I'd share this poem a fellow BabyCenter.com friend sent me. It pretty much sums up the entire new-mother experience.

Before I was a Mom…
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom…
I slept as late as I wanted.
I brushed my hair and my teeth every day.

Before I was a Mom…
I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was Mom…
I had never been puked on, pooped on, spat on, chewed on, peed on,
or pinched by tiny fingers.

Before I was a Mom…
I had complete control of my mind, thoughts, my body,and my time.

Before I was a Mom…
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom…
I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child.

Before I was a Mom…
I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom…
I had never risen in the middle of the night,
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

Before I was a Mom…
I had never known the warmth,
the joy, the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment,
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom!

-Author Unknown-

5.07.2008

I Want That


Meet Big Toe. He's one of the infamous Uglydolls.

These plush mutants are just the kind of "doll" my tough little Preston would look cool carrying around. Check them out!

5.02.2008

Shhh, I'm Concentrating

Must...
concentrate...
on finger.

It wasn't...
here... yesterday?

This...
is...
serious.

Life Lessons Learned

Nearly a week into our Seattle trip all is well and running along smoothly. Preston has adjusted to the hotel life and sleeping in a Pack-n-Play. And Mommy is slowly starting to realize Preston isn't going to freeze just because he's sleeping 4" off the ground, and is not turning the heat up so high.

Although we're only half-way through our stay, I've already learned a couple life-lessons. And I've learned them the old-fashioned way – by experience!

Lesson #1: Children will be completely healthy for months, then become sick at the most inopportune times. Dr. Ben confirmed Preston has a stomach bug, hence all the pooing. Preston is still not 100%, but is getting better.

Lesson #2: The people who love you the most will inevitably, at some point in your life, shit and piss on you. I'm speaking literally here...at 2:40 in the morning...by the soft glow of a night light...with a smile on his face. And I'm not talking about Jeremy.