My Hot Dog Has a First Name, it's S-C-A-R-Y

I don't care much for hot dogs. About 20 years ago I was told they were made from earthworms (ingredient listed as erythorbate). Since then I learned they were actually made from the lips and a##holes of pigs. Which is the real truth? I don't know...and furthermore, I don't want to.

History proves that hot dogs are pretty much a staple for young children. I pride myself on buying only 'turkey' dogs for Preston. Turkey just 'sounds' like the better option, plus they contain less sodium. And, my little guys loves them. I protest they are evil.

The dogs have a defense mechanism like no other meat I've seen. These dogs want to live, they don't want to be eaten! And once put in the microwave, will lite up as if they were made of foil (not worms or icky animal parts). The little meat pieces spark and crackle and are downright SCARY!

The first couple times I cut up the dogs, put them in the microwave, and sparks flew...I thought I was losing it. Sparking meat (or meat-like stuff)? Yeah right. But then Jeremy became witness to the sparking dogs and my sanity was once again redeemed. Hastily, I wanted to call up Jennie-O and give them a piece of my mind. Now I really did want to know what was in these dogs! My cool-natured husband, however, went to Google.

The sparking dog phenomenon is called 'arcing'. These dogs aren't angry, these dogs are made up of an uneven mixture of salt and additives that produce a charge when in close proximity to one another. The charge 'arcs' to meet the next closest dog chunk, usually causing the edges to burn. And this isn't good for the dog or the microwave.

So for all you new mothers out there, getting ready to feed your child his/her first dog, be advised. Either heat up the entire dog in the microwave, boil it or put it in the oven. Or, cook them on a grill. You choose, but keep the evil dogs out of the microwave.