You Know It's Time to Hire a New Babysitter When...

1: You call the sitter 30 minutes after leaving to check on your son, and the sitter doesn't recognize who you are.

Me: Hi, I was calling to see how Preston is doing?
Sitter: {silence}
Me: This is Kate, how is Preston?
Sitter: Oh, hi!

2: The sitter lets the 17-month-old call the shots.
(Conversation continued from above.)

Me: So, how are things going? Has Preston calmed down?
Sitter: Well, he's back in his crib right now. That's where he wants to be.
Me: He's in his crib???? It's 5:30?
Sitter: After he ate he went into his bedroom and wanted in. If I take him out he cries.
Me: Well take him out and play with him. He can't stay in there.
Sitter: Okay.

3: The sitter shows signs of amnesia.
(Follow-up conversation 15 minutes later.)

Me: Hi, this is Kate. (Throwing her a bone here.) Is Preston okay?
Sitter: Oh yeah! He's fine. We're just playing on the floor.
Me: Okay? (Thinking she might elaborate.)
Sitter: {silence}
Me: Alright. Well I just wanted to check back in. I'll see you soon.
Sitter: {silence}
Me: Bye.

4: Upon returning home, sitter once again, confuses the hell out of me.

Me: Hey! I'm back...you aren't watching tv or reading,
what have you been doing to pass the time?
Sitter: Texting with friends.
Me: Oh, cool.
Sitter: Hey I wanted to apologize for earlier when you texted me
to see how Preston was doing.
Sitter: I couldn't text you back because my phone went dead. But he's okay.
Me: Um, actually I did get your text. {And didn't you just say you'd been texting?}
Sitter: Oh. You did?
Me: And for future reference. If Preston wants to stay in his crib, don't let him.
Me: He also likes to play in the toilet, but we don't let him do that, either.
Sitter: {awkward giggle} I ate one of your tangerines.



Seven Bells said...

I am laughing my ass off....love it. We have our go to sitter, but she has since graduated and going to college out of town. This is probably what I have to look forward too.

Megan said...

Horrible! (yet amusing!) That's like a clip out of "The Soup." We have to find a sitter for our 2.5 month old and I'm scared! And your story here is why. eeeek!

Alexa said...

OMG, when I first started to read this post I was thinking about what I wanted to ask you, it was 'can you give me advice on getting a babysitter for my 15 month old?' LOL!!!! I still want the advice....living away from family can suck sometimes. Times like these when you want a sitter to get out of the house with the hubby.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear LOL .... ditch her!

Kriss said...

I would ditch her too.....yikes!

Heidi said...

That is too funny! That is why I am so thankful to have family near by to watch the boys....plus you tell the story SO WELL Kate :-)

Katherine said...

This is the teenager, right? What a nightmare. I have no idea what to to do about finding a sitter when (and if) we move...CJ has been a godsend.
Have you tried Sittercity for references??

Anonymous said...

Excellent!! I love the giggle---she probably told her friends you didn't want Preston in bed but he plays in the toliet.......if her phone isn't dead of course. Tell me you didn't pay her..miss you.

Barbara said...

God Kate- I love reading your blog. Good stuff here my dear. :-)

-Barbara at Fairhaven Health

The imPerfect Houswife said...

OMG - that's really all I've got to say - I think I actually laughed OUT LOUD!!! You are seriously cracking me up!

The Chicken Contests said...

Seriously hilarious. I've been following your blog ever since a friend sent it to me when I first got pregnant. You keep me laughing and looking forward to all the next steps. Thank you, Kate!