Top 10 in Two Weeks

Today is Preston's 2-week birthday! This may mean nothing to the little guy who is currently snoozing away in his bassinet, but for his first-time parents this is quite a milestone. The past fourteen days in this 'baby boot camp' has definitely been a test of our patience, problem-solving skills, stamina and maturity.

In essence of this big day, I've compiled a short list that highlights the ups and downs and discoveries of our first weeks into parenthood. In no particular order - here goes:

10. Poop is exciting! It makes me happy and relieved just knowing Preston's system is in check. I even have a poop and pee log, to keep track of all his 'functions'. Pee doesn't provide the same rush, as he averages around 9 pees a day. However, on two occasions he's surprised us by peeing during a diaper change- one squirt hit the wall, the other squirt went right and landed in the pack-n-play. Gross, but oh soo funny.

9. Sleeping when the baby sleeps is great in theory, but not realistic. If I slept when the baby slept, when would I eat, shower, clean and make bottles, talk to my husband, update this blog, do laundry, and make any type of contact with the outside world. And most importantly, if I'm sleeping while Preston is sleeping, then who is watching Preston? What happens if he stops breathing or he works his blanket up over his face. I kind of need to be awake to make sure he's alive, ya know.

8. The time frame in which baby can go from happy and content to frustrated and frantic is a matter of seconds. This also holds true for Mommy, who can work up a shower of tears in no time flat, for no solid reason. Yes, our baby is cute, but do I need to cry about it? Yes, hiccups really do jar the baby around, but he's okay and I don't need to cry about it? Or, do I. Yes, I think I do.

7. Jeremy and I have become HGTV and A&E junkies. I challenge anyone to quiz us on any episode of Intervention, Flip This House, House Hunters, House Hunters International, My House is Worth What?, Get it Sold, and Property Virgins. Double dog dare ya.

6. Putting on a diaper is hard, and not because Preston wiggles so much. Note to self: tabs go in the back. I've tried putting these things on backwards twice now.

5. Separation anxiety by definition is anxious behavior or apprehension exhibited by children (and pets) associated with separation/absence from a parent or other caregiver. But what's it called when the parent exhibits this behavior? I get it after sleeping for a couple hours or when someone else is holding Preston for a long period of time. I know, I'm a mess.

4. I can't drink alcohol. I've been missing the sweet taste of wine and bitter swigs of barley and hops for nearly 40 weeks. Now that I can drink, I won't drink. When Jeremy and I watched the Super Bowl I drank an O'Doul's. I feel like an 8th grader afraid of what will happen if I have a beer. Will I lose all control? Will I get a headache? Will I have a hangover? How will I be able to take care of the baby if I'm under the influence? I'm a total vagina these days.

3. Nicknames. By the time Preston is 4 months old, he should be able to recognize his name. This is, of course, if we can stick to calling him Preston. Right now we call him a number of names, in addition to his given one – Pres, Little Guy, Punkin', Sweetheart, and our favorite P'Dub (short for Preston William, obviously).

2. Advice published in baby books is a some sort of conspiracy against all new moms. The current book I have, although very helpful, led me to believe Preston should be eating less than we've been giving him. The book states a baby of his size should be drinking around 14-21 ounces of formula a day. Preston drinks around a quart of formula a day, which is 32 fluid ounces. This find resulted in yet another call to the ped's office. I've got that dude on speed dial. To my surprise (enter sarcasm here) not all babies are the same, and Preston just happens to be a big eater.

1. Preston is NOT afraid of the dark. He may prefer to have the lights on, but he's not afraid of the dark. It's true! I swear! I asked my pediatrician. This question was quickly followed by a request to not tell anyone I asked the stupid question. The ped said not to worry, patient/doctor confidentiality doesn't permit it. (Peds must love newbie parents.)