Tig Ole' Bitty

Before I get started on this titillating story, let's review the following definitions.
PRIVATE: Secluded from the sight, presence, or intrusion of others
PUBLIC: Performed or made openly or in the view of all

Now, let's use each word in a sentence.
• MOTHERS WITH NAT-GEO NIPS SHOULD NOT DISPLAY THEM IN PUBLIC.
• MOTHERS SHOULD ONLY WHIP OUT NAT-GEO NIPS IN PRIVATE, ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THEIR UNSIGHTLY CONDITION.

Class dismissed.
Feel free to proceed reading.

So the other day, while meeting up with some friends at KidsQuest Museum in Factoria, I happened up a woman in the toddler area, breastfeeding her oldest child. Four things were abundantly clear:
1.  The woman hadn't heard of discreetly breastfeeding; i.e. covering up with a blanket, some sort of cover, etc.
2.  She wasn't wearing a bra.
3.  She had no idea how gross her fat bag looked, nor how crazy-long her nip had become.
4. The kid on her tit was old enough to have his driver's permit.

Let's be clear,  I am all for breastfeeding. Wish I could have done it myself, but such is life. But I AM NOT supportive of mothers plopping their goods out freely in public. I get that breastfeeding is natural, and when a kid is hungry, a kid needs fed. But you know what else is natural, taking a mean ole' poo. And you don't see me doing that in the middle of the toddler play area.

Why Jeremy Wants to Kill Me

I can see it out of the corner of my eye. Sitting there, in its original packaging. the crib bumper, sheet, window valance, sheet and dust ruffle. I can see the adorable polka dots and lovely stripes. The colors are bright and bold. And the alphabet letters are too fun! And then I see 'them'. I see those Dr. Seuss 'things'. Those yellow, creepy things. And they are embroidered on this hideous, waffle fabric. These yellow 'things' were cute in the picture online. They were cute, and not embroidered, and not on waffle fabric. At least, not that I could see.

And who INSISTED this was 'THE SET', 'THE ONE', 'PERFECT FOR A BOY OR GIRL'?
Who?
ME! 
DUMB-ASS ME!

I made a mistake, if you will. Perhaps got over-eager. You know, excited for this next baby. I'm a planner and wanted to get a move on things. But now, nothing is moving much. The nursery is pretty-much cleaned out, but I can't make the move. I can't unpack the bedding set. I've got it listed on Craigslist and Ebay...just hoping someone will want it. Because I don't.

I want something else. I want elephants! No, now I want giraffes! Yes, giraffes. But, the elephants are still cute. Oh wait, nope, back to the alphabet, but not the Seuss alphabet, the MiGi alphabet. Yes, this IS the set. This IS THE SET.

(click to enlarge)

Now, if only the husband will agree.

Meeting Maria

Nearly a year before Preston came into this world, I joined a group of ladies trying to conceive on Babycenter.com. Since then, eleven of us, from the East coast to the West, have been through it all – first and second pregnancies, losses, family woes, personal issues, job losses, and moves. You name it, we've probably experienced it...except for actually meeting in person.

Group history was recently made, however. While on a mini-vacay to SoCal, Preston and I were able to meet up with 'bellaqsmom', aka Maria, and her little one, Bella. We first met up at the Sea Life Aquarium in Carlsbad. From there, a short trip to the beach, then dinner.

On the way to meet up, I was a bit nervous. I wasn't worried she was a baby-snatcher or a murderer or anything like that. I just didn't know if we'd click in person, as well as we do online. Online we basically react to each others posts. In person, you actually have to be personable, chit-chat, etc. But it was easy and comfortable. Maria was great! Bella was awesome! And I'd hang out with them again, any day!

He's Going the Distance

Where: Knott's Berry Farms in Anaheim, CA.
When: January 31, 2010
What: Charlie Brown's Speedway ride
Times Ridden: We lost count after 7!

Clearly: Preston's Happiest Day Ever!

Big Embarrassing Moment #2

Picture this....

Preston and I are in the checkout line at the grocery store. I'm standing in front of the cart, and Preston is in the seat, facing the customers behind us in line. As I'm checking out, Preston keeps saying, "Baby. Baby. Baby. Mommy. Baby." I thought nothing of this, and kept chatting it up with the cashier. Preston kept going on and on and without looking up, I responded, "Yes, Preston. A baby!"

I thought nothing of this. After all, I'm pregnant, so I ASSumed Preston was talking about me. But, of course he wasn't!

Once I finally pulled my head out of my ass, and looked up to see exactly what Preston was doing, I nearly puked out of embarrassment. There, before my eyes and ears, and the eyes and ears of everyone else in line and surrounding lines, was Preston- openly pointing his index finger at the beer belly of the thinner, 40-something gentleman in line behind him. The man, holding chips and soda, and wearing a rather fitting shirt, wasn't two feet from Preston. And for the last couple minutes, Preston had been pointing at the poor guy and humiliating him over and over and over.

At that moment I wished more than anything in the world that I had invisible super human powers. But since that option was out, I fled the scene, hauled ass, high-tailed it out of there. I can't even describe how quickly I moved, but I can assure you, that I haven't moved that fast this entire pregnancy.

I fear this is just the beginning of embarrassing moments to come. Yikes!

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Note from author: Embarrassing moment #1 was never blogged about. It happened last spring, when Preston was just starting to talk and make some animal noises. While walking into a restaurant, Preston pointed at this large, overweight, black man sitting on a bench and started growling at him. Preston though he was a bear. Luckily though, the man was none the wiser.