Preston and I are in the checkout line at the grocery store. I'm standing in front of the cart, and Preston is in the seat, facing the customers behind us in line. As I'm checking out, Preston keeps saying, "Baby. Baby. Baby. Mommy. Baby." I thought nothing of this, and kept chatting it up with the cashier. Preston kept going on and on and without looking up, I responded, "Yes, Preston. A baby!"
I thought nothing of this. After all, I'm pregnant, so I ASSumed Preston was talking about me. But, of course he wasn't!
Once I finally pulled my head out of my ass, and looked up to see exactly what Preston was doing, I nearly puked out of embarrassment. There, before my eyes and ears, and the eyes and ears of everyone else in line and surrounding lines, was Preston- openly pointing his index finger at the beer belly of the thinner, 40-something gentleman in line behind him. The man, holding chips and soda, and wearing a rather fitting shirt, wasn't two feet from Preston. And for the last couple minutes, Preston had been pointing at the poor guy and humiliating him over and over and over.
At that moment I wished more than anything in the world that I had invisible super human powers. But since that option was out, I fled the scene, hauled ass, high-tailed it out of there. I can't even describe how quickly I moved, but I can assure you, that I haven't moved that fast this entire pregnancy.
I fear this is just the beginning of embarrassing moments to come. Yikes!
Note from author: Embarrassing moment #1 was never blogged about. It happened last spring, when Preston was just starting to talk and make some animal noises. While walking into a restaurant, Preston pointed at this large, overweight, black man sitting on a bench and started growling at him. Preston though he was a bear. Luckily though, the man was none the wiser.