2.26.2010

Tig Ole' Bitty

Before I get started on this titillating story, let's review the following definitions.
PRIVATE: Secluded from the sight, presence, or intrusion of others
PUBLIC: Performed or made openly or in the view of all

Now, let's use each word in a sentence.
MOTHERS WITH NAT-GEO NIPS SHOULD NOT DISPLAY THEM IN PUBLIC.
MOTHERS SHOULD ONLY WHIP OUT NAT-GEO NIPS IN PRIVATE, ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THEIR UNSIGHTLY CONDITION.

Class dismissed.
Feel free to proceed reading.

So the other day, while meeting up with some friends at KidsQuest Museum in Factoria, I happened up a woman in the toddler area, breastfeeding her oldest child. Four things were abundantly clear:
1.  The woman hadn't heard of discreetly breastfeeding; i.e. covering up with a blanket, some sort of cover, etc.
2.  She wasn't wearing a bra.
3.  She had no idea how gross her fat bag looked, nor how crazy-long her nip had become.
4. The kid on her tit was old enough to have his driver's permit.

Let's be clear,  I am all for breastfeeding. Wish I could have done it myself, but such is life. But I AM NOT supportive of mothers plopping their goods out freely in public. I get that breastfeeding is natural, and when a kid is hungry, a kid needs fed. But you know what else is natural, taking a mean ole' poo. And you don't see me doing that in the middle of the toddler play area.

21 comments:

Aly said...

I am seriously ROTFLMAO after reading this post. Especially your last line! I completely agree that women should cover up the goods.

Taylor said...

Not to mention breastfeeding after a certain age seems a little...disturbing.

Anonymous said...

I don't agree. If you have a problem with breastfeeding, cover up YOUR head with a blanket.

Mama K said...

Anonymous- You don't have to agree. This is my blog. I can rant and rave all I want about whatever it is I want!

And I don't have anything against breastfeeding; if you read the post closely, you would know that.

Oh how I love 'Anonymous' comments!

Mrs.C said...

LOLOLOL. At 6 weeks and some pregnant, I feel like my nips are already nat geo. I can't imagine letting them swing out. I also can't imagine actually feeding someone like that yet but I'll get there :) Thanks for the tip.

Jill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jill said...

Unfortunately, lactating breasts don't resemble the Playboy tits we are all striving for; they are much more similar to National Geographic photos. Probably because the women in NG nurse their babies.

I am visiting my in-laws for the weekend and was actually trying to discreetly nurse my 20 month old when I read this post. I try not to make them uncomfortable.

It is really hard to make everyone comfortable...I usually choose my baby. Maybe that's what this mom did.

excruciatingly said...

I WAS going to photograph my nipple and post it with my comment to see if Soren had qualified it to be of the Nat-Geo variety, but Christian gave me a warning look and said, "Honey, no."

Lindsay said...

I am nursing my 11 month old daughter and have learned all the appropriate ways to nurse in public. I have nursed in my car and in dressing rooms- whatever I need to do. Modesty has been an issue for me in the past- and I would pump and bottle, if I felt it necessary.

However, let's get down to the nitty gritty here, it sounds like the real issue is that this mother does not seem to have any respect of herself! To be quite comfortable hanging all over the place is alarming. I have no desire for the general public to view my stretch marks, the unrecognizable bumps that used to be perky breasts, and any hanging- post baby skin. It has nothing to do with being ashamed of breastfeeding and everything to do with discretion. I think some women get a cheap thrill out of nursing in public because they almost want a reaction. I am not one of those women. I just want to feed my baby in peace!

When it comes to age, I am in a gradual wean with my child. I understand that nursing is natural, however, I also feel that they outgrow it and wonder what some women do that causes their little ones to suckle for years upon years! Mine is already interested in solids and losing interest in me. Some women believe in 'child led weaning', but I don't get that? Are we going to 'child led potty train' and let our kids go to school pooping their pants because we don't want to let them grow up or give them boundaries?

Do you think you would like to try nursing again with baby 2?

Mama K said...

Lindsay- I agree with you about the self respect thing! True dat! And yes, I'd love to try to nurse with baby #2, but my ducts are damaged from a reduction I had a couple years back. Bummer. :(

Rachel said...

Oh Kate-you always make me LOL when I read your blog. I breastfed Audrey for almost 18 months and I don't think I ever did in public. Just not comfortable whippin' 'em out in front of the world. Plus she was sooo picky-only nursed in her room pretty much. Thanks for the laugh ;)

Babs said...

I nursed two babies. The first one weaned himself at 22 months. The second nursed past age 4. Both are parents themselves today. I don't think it's necessary for anyone to comment one way or the other regarding how or where a mother chooses to feed her babe, so long as she is loving. Even if you find it "offensive", it's hard to imagine that it would bother me enough to comment on it, as you say, publicly. As I recall, when my babies nursed, THEY covered my nipples. Not much of interest showed, no matter whether we were at home or out.

sarah said...

Damn straight!

Can we get more people on the "put your tit away" band wagon? This is another reason women take pregnancy to a far out extreme. "It is no longer my body...it is my child's."

Puh-leez.

excruciatingly said...

*stomach turning*

Yo, Mamas! Ever hear of live and let live? Us nasty public breastfeeder breeders won't judge you if you don't judge us, Kay?

That said, Love you Kate Kate. You know I do.

Anonymous said...

Linked to your blog from another and I have to say... this is truly awesome.

Nobody wants to see that. It's gross. Honestly, gross. My vagina is also for my babies. It's how I birthed them. I wouldn't show that in public either!!

This post is the truth. I'm a breastfeeder. I always used a thin blanket. NOBODY wants to see my worn out body, and I most certainly don't want them to either.

You should have stood right in front of her, jacked your pants half way down your rear end and bent right over. Give the crazy lady something to look at.

Joey said...

You are seriously SOOO FUNNY!! How did I miss that at Kidquest?? I'm glad I did, but that recap was HILARIOUS!!! I wish you were moving to Denver!!

The Keevy Family said...

You are so funny! I couldn't agree more!!

I just found your blog today doing a search for "37 weeks pregnant." I found it interesting that you mentioned Factoria Mall and Kidsquest. We go there a lot with my 7 year old daughter and 4 year old boy. We live in Renton. I am pregnant with our third and I'm currently 36 weeks, but I have a planned cesarean for April 27th. Thanks for the laughs! I needed it today! :)

Jane

According to Lia said...

Breasts are used to sell everything from cars to fast food. We see young girls marching down runways modeling clothing that leaves little to the imagination with breasts prominently displayed. The idea that an exposed breast in public performing what it is biologically designed to do (sustain human life) is somehow indecent just goes to show how removed from reality we have all become. Relieving yourself in public is not the same as breast feeding (obviously the two cannot be equated in terms of public health, sanitation etc...). I am sorry that you were not able to breast feed and very glad that there are a number of options available to mothers in this day and age. Your personal choice does not negate the fact that breast feeding remains the healthiest (in most cases), least expensive, and most globally accessible method for feeding babies. Given the choice between advertising drivel and a mother feeding her baby I will take the naked, NATURAL, nourishing breast any day of the week.

Bel said...

Hi Kate!

Just came across your blog and am LOVING IT!

I am currenlty around 7 weeks pregnant with my first. I hope to breastfeed, but agree, I won't be hanging it out for the world to see.

I agree totally that breastfeeding is natural and what God intended. So is sex! I'm sure I'd get arrested for that in public!

Bel

Fit Yummy Mummy,Fit Yummy Mummy Review said...

Yes you are absolutely right that you can not feed your child in any public place or any play area but breast feeding is a natural thing and it is right of a kid and it is also necessary for His/Her good health so it must be given.

Anonymous said...

Breast or Bottle no mother should have to cover her child when feeding just because immature adults feel uncomfortable.