Pinterest. I'm one of the millions fallen victim to this craft-ridden, do-it-yourself-ing, baking, sewing, photographing, cleaning and book-loving online community. It puts facebook to shame. I could care less about what you are shoving in your pie hole, where you are eating it and with whom is sitting by your side. Why I'd much rather see a pic of what you are eating with a link to the quick and easy recipe. That's the beauty of Pinterest. And me loves it!
I loves it so much, I dream it. If Pinterest were a a world, I lived it last night.
There I was with one of my besties, Allison. We were living in something similar to a compound in a wide open field. There weren't houses, fences or streets but there were definitely divisions between different groups of people. We could all see one another, but everyone was busy doing their own projects...everyone was living their life within their specific "board".
I was multi-tasking. Using a mixture of vinegar, Epsom salt and olive oil I was putting a shine to the chrome on my motorcycle that would make William Harley and Arthur Davidson proud. At the same time, I was working on assembling two rifles- complete with a cork popper and baker's twine to keep it attached to the weapon.
Seriously...is this dream awesome or what?
To the "board" next to me, Allison was busy making a sausage stew in a wonderfully re-purposed, extremely large concrete flower pot. I could tell it wasn't an actual cauldron, but she did really well painting it black and I wasn't about to judge. Her recipe was a print-out of a photograph that captured all the stew ingredients. The sausage had "1 lb." written next to it, the carrots, "1 bunch", the potatoes "1 lb"... and so forth. The author of the stew had horribly slopping writing, and Allison was having difficulty deciphering whether or not she needed 1 tbsp. of salt or 1 tbsp. of herb (what herb, I have no idea...this is all the dream offered up.). Using her phone, she diligently tried to find the original recipe, but was having no luck.
In the "board" next to us ladies were our husbands and children. Jeremy, Brad and the kids were all wearing pillowcase dresses! (I shit you not!) The men were stretching a huge piece of scrap chicken wire between two evergreens. Preston, Norah, Eli and Wyatt were balling up peanut butter and birdseed. The birdseed balls were then shoved into the large holes in the chicken wire. You wanna know why? To catch dinner, of course!
The idea behind the birdseed in the chicken wire is to attract local foul. They'd swoop in to peck a piece of the bird-bait. The force of their 'aggressive beaking' would actually put their heads through the chicken wire hole, capturing the bird around the neck. Dinner!
Allison, being frustrated with her sloppy Pinterest recipe, suggested we go for a motorcycle ride. She brought me a print-out of an aerial photograph with windy roads amidst tall pines and rolling hills of flowers. Neither of us had been there before, so it seemed like a great idea! (This dream is insane, right?)
On the way out of the compound, Allison and I were getting stopped left and right. I got the vibe we we were the leaders. Many people I had never met or seen before, but I did run into a couple girls from high school. Hadn't seen them in years, but apparently they had been following me for awhile. Everyone wanted the same things...Allison's recipe for the stew, my chrome polish concoction, and tips on how to catch live birds.
I rather enjoyed my stint living in the land of Pinterest. I was a bit overwhelmed by the thousands of 'followers' though. After all, I have 145 groupies that follow this blog- and probably ten read it. Maybe this post will fling me into my fifteen minutes of fame. I'll attract a whole new set of readers. Everyone will start pinning this post and I'll go viral. Anderson will have me as a guest on his show and surprise me with a trip to one of the exotic locations I have saved on my "Destinations" Pinterest board. (Chose Anderson as he's the only daytime talk show host that doesn't make my ears bleed.)
So what's a girl in the REAL world do now? PIN this post, of course. ;)