Picture this....
Preston and I are in the checkout line at the grocery store. I'm standing in front of the cart, and Preston is in the seat, facing the customers behind us in line. As I'm checking out, Preston keeps saying, "Baby. Baby. Baby. Mommy. Baby." I thought nothing of this, and kept chatting it up with the cashier. Preston kept going on and on and without looking up, I responded, "Yes, Preston. A baby!"
I thought nothing of this. After all, I'm pregnant, so I ASSumed Preston was talking about me. But, of course he wasn't!
Once I finally pulled my head out of my ass, and looked up to see exactly what Preston was doing, I nearly puked out of embarrassment. There, before my eyes and ears, and the eyes and ears of everyone else in line and surrounding lines, was Preston- openly pointing his index finger at the beer belly of the thinner, 40-something gentleman in line behind him. The man, holding chips and soda, and wearing a rather fitting shirt, wasn't two feet from Preston. And for the last couple minutes, Preston had been pointing at the poor guy and humiliating him over and over and over.
At that moment I wished more than anything in the world that I had invisible super human powers. But since that option was out, I fled the scene, hauled ass, high-tailed it out of there. I can't even describe how quickly I moved, but I can assure you, that I haven't moved that fast this entire pregnancy.
I fear this is just the beginning of embarrassing moments to come. Yikes!
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Note from author: Embarrassing moment #1 was never blogged about. It happened last spring, when Preston was just starting to talk and make some animal noises. While walking into a restaurant, Preston pointed at this large, overweight, black man sitting on a bench and started growling at him. Preston though he was a bear. Luckily though, the man was none the wiser.
3 comments:
AACCCKKKK!!!! I'm so horrified for you. I"m sitting in my living room feeling so embarrassed and I wasn't even there. It's such a great story I have to say!!! I think it's because it could happen to any one of us. And likely will. Oh well, maybe it gave the guy a wake-up call and will push him to lose the belly fat if he's been meaning to. Actually, that whole scenario would make a great weight-loss commercial for men, wouldn't it? :)
Yeah, I would have been embarrassed too, but once I got out of view of said pregnant man, would have cracked up. Out of the mouths of babes :)
Right then, I've just been reading through your blog posts and felt like mentioning something my mum likes to hold over my head.
When I was about three, my parents took me to a restraunt and a couple tables away from us was a group of women sitting in a booth beneath a picture of some horses. Being the excitable three year old I was, I proceed to point and inform everyone that they were horses. But my proununciatioin wasn't the best so everyone had a laugh at the three year old pointing at a group of women and repeating 'whores' over and over again.
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